I have not posted for a while because I’ve been feeling quite a bit dissatisfied with the way my creativity is going.
I am becoming disappointed in myself – getting restless and want to do something completely different but can’t put my finger on what! I need to give myself a good shakeup and have a go at something that is well outside my comfort zone.
This year has raced along and whilst I am pleased with most of the embroidery I’ve done – it just isn’t good enough.
Please, don’t think I am the kind of person who gets all angst ridden about things. Just frustrated with myself because I know I can do better and if I’m to be honest with you, I feel I’m just back pedalling!
Next year I’m thinking of trying something that will take a long time to finish and my attitude to what I attempt must change if it is to work. Slow projects need a different way of thinking, lots of planning and a steady regular input to succeed. Totally new to me!
A lesson learnt this year was, regular input doesn’t have to equate to working slavishly to meet weekly deadlines or clockwatching. It would take the joy out of it so I will work on this ‘time piece’ when I really want to; ensuring that what gets done really does have my heart and soul in it. Hopefully, at the end of it,(whenever that will be) I will have something I can feel proud of.
Anyway, the title did not allude to this but something that happened to make me think about my attitude to what I create.
I bought an external hard drive for my work at the beginning of this year for storing my stitching work and projects – anything that was mine, as opposed to my husband’s. The poor laptop hadn’t got the strength to store the hundreds of photos. For once in my life I was organized, all my new little folders neatly arranged in rows; ready to be sorted.
All this year’s tast stitches, experiments, inspirational sculptures, ideas, wips…. you get the message.
Got up Tuesday and decided to bring this blog up to date – ZILCH! The whole lot was gone. My stitching efforts this year, all the memories of places visited, sculptures that thrilled me, memories that were dear to me.
As for the textile and stitch side of things; I managed to find a few of them still on my camera and smart phone and the rest of the tast I can re-shoot and store but not the old early stuff.
I sat and thought about how it felt – it felt weirdly liberating in a way and prioritized things in order of importance.
My first thought was how sad not to have the memory stuff, and the sculptures that could have inspired future pieces. But memories and the associated feelings will always live in your heart and mind. As for the sculptures, I discovered some new, rather quirky ones local to where I live that look interesting enough to snap.
Most importantly, glad to know I’m not vain enough to think my stuff is worth gnashing my teeth over :}
So, next year a new start, in a way without the influence of a lot of stuff I thought I couldn’t be without.
A real eye-opener!